How can I say no?
by RedHeadedFlame
Summary: He's my best friend. I'm not even sure who I am without him. I love him more than anyone else on this earth. How can I say no? A Home outtake


**A/N: As a little Valentine's day treat I've written this outtake from my story Home. It is set before events of that story take place and gives a little glimpse into Everlark's lives before Katniss left Panem. You don't have to have read Home to understand this outtake and I hope many people enjoy it.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Hunger Games or any of its characters.**

* * *

 **How can I say no?**

 _3rd October 2004_

Peeta grabs my hand as we race round the corner, laughing. Haymitch Abernathy's shouts of annoyance follow us but the old man is too drunk to catch up and ends up tumbling into a bale of hay. We don't stop running though as we leave the old drunk and the sounds of the harvest festival behind. I've already had to endure three hours of this festival and Haymitch's tirade against us is our cue to leave.

Peeta keeps hold of my hand until we reach his truck, both of us jumping in and collapsing against the worn leather seats. We're still laughing as we try to regain our breath.

"He really hates you for stealing that goose. I don't think I've ever seen him move so fast!" Peeta declares.

I turn to Peeta with a glint in my eye as I reveal what I have hidden underneath my arm.

"He's gonna be even more mad when he realises I stole his moonshine too," I say with a cheeky grin.

I wave the bottle in front of Peeta's face and the liquid sloshes around inside, some of it spilling over the rim of the bottle. Haymitch Abernathy only cares about two things in our small hometown of Panem; his geese and his moonshine. I was already in his bad books after stealing one of his geese and now I have pilfered some of his precious moonshine. I'll be right at the top of his most hated list.

Peeta pouts as I take a long sip of the clear liquid and then wipe my mouth roughly with the back of my hand.

"Not fair. You know I'm designated driver tonight," he says.

I lean back against the seat and turn my head to face my boyfriend.

"I might save you some for when you've taken me home," I say, taking another long and purposeful drink.

Peeta smiles and shakes his head at me. As much as he would like to join in the fun he would never risk my safety. It's times like this that he acts a lot older than his seventeen years.

"Come on. I suppose I better take you away from here. I don't think it's safe for you to be near Abernathy at the moment," he teases.

I roll my eyes as Peeta makes sure I'm strapped in and turns the keys in the ignition. Instinctively I lean my head against his shoulder and sigh contentedly as he drives away. Peeta smiles down at me lovingly before turning his eyes back to the road as he navigates his way out of the field.

We've been together for three years now and he is still the only person that makes me feel calm in Panem. Most of the time I am desperate to get out of this small Alabama town but whenever I am with Peeta, I can't imagine being anywhere else.

Once we've left the fields Peeta clears his throat and I turn my head to look up at him.

"All in all I thought the harvest festival wasn't half bad this year. I always enjoy a day where Rye makes a fool of himself," Peeta says with a grin.

I roll my eyes as I straighten up to look at him properly. The harvest festival is one of the highlights in our small hometown but when nothing other than farming happens here it's not hard to see why. But the same things happen every year; the local band play the same old country songs, Mr Cray always wins the pie eating contest and one of the teens ends up passed out somewhere in the barn. It's not what I call exciting.

"The festival never changes. There's gotta be more out there than barn dances and biggest pumpkin competitions. Wouldn't you like to be part of the tomato throwing festival in Spain or in India for the Holi festival? I'd love to experience something…anything different," I say passionately.

Peeta turns to me with a grin.

"You'll have to send me a postcard when you go," he says.

I sigh as I slouch back against the car seat. I love Peeta but his loyalty to this town is frustrating. There is more to the world than Panem and Alabama. We've been best friends ever since I can remember and there was a time he would follow me anywhere. But as my dreams expand out with the horizons of Panem he seems content to stay behind.

"Like I could leave you behind," I mutter as I play with the ends of my hair.

Peeta glances over to me and reaches over to give my hand a squeeze. I accept it and relax a little at his touch. Saying anything more will just cause another argument. Instead I change the subject, straightening up in the car seat and pushing aside thoughts of exciting new places.

"Can you believe Gale made out with Lorelei? I wish he would open his eyes and see how much Madge is in love with him. He's the reason she got so drunk tonight," I say.

My best female friend has been in love with my surly older cousin ever since we entered high school. But Gale is too busy chasing every skirt in Panem to notice my pretty and intelligent friend. Peeta smiles as he nods his head in agreement.

"I don't know who is more oblivious, your cousin or my brother. I can't believe Rye broke up with Violet again. All because Mom even dared mention marriage. He spent all night looking lovingly at her. He just needs to grow a pair and accept the fact that he loves her," Peeta replies.

"They're both idiots," I agree. "They just need to be more honest about how they feel."

Peeta turns to grin at me again and I slide closer to snuggle into him. He wraps his arm around me, keeping one hand on the wheel and placing a kiss on top of my head.

"Look at us," I say. "We sound like such a smug married couple."

Peeta smiles down at me and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"That's because we have the perfect relationship. We don't lie to each other," Peeta says.

I laugh as I snuggle in as close as the seatbelt will allow.

"We've got it all figured out at seventeen," I say. Peeta gives me the smile that he reserves only for me and my heart flutters. "I love you."

"I think you've told me that once or twice," he says jokingly.

I pinch him in the side for making a joke when I was trying to be serious. Peeta lets out a little yelp of pain and I look at him expectedly. He finally turns round to face me with a more serious look.

"I love you too," he replies.

My heart flutters again and I snuggle back into him, now satisfied with his answer. I can't imagine loving anyone more than him.

We drive for a while longer until we reach our favourite spot in Panem; the water tower. We've come here since we were eight years old and I dared Peeta to climb it. We may risk our safety every time we climb the rickety metal tower but it has the best view of Panem. It is one of the only places in Panem I feel any sense of calm and it is where we come to escape. It's quiet and beautiful and ours.

We both hop out of the truck, Peeta leaving on the headlamps, and walk towards the ladder that takes us to the top. We stop at the bottom and I put my arm out, offering for Peeta to climb up first.

"After you," I say with a smile.

Peeta raises his eyebrows at me as he shakes his head. He places one hand on a the metal rung and rests a foot against another one.

"You just want me to go first so you can check out my ass," he says with a grin.

"What can I say? You know I love your ass in those jeans," I say shrugging my shoulder. I then slide in closer to him and smooth down the collar of his denim jacket. "Besides don't try and pretend you wouldn't be looking up my skirt if the situation was reversed."

Peeta leans his head in closer to me so that are lips are almost touching and his hand comes up to rest against my hip. His close proximity causes my body to react and my heart begins hammering in my chest as he gives me a cheeky smile.

"Gotta take advantage of you wearing a dress. Doesn't happen very often but it sure makes is easier to do naughty things," he says.

His hand moves down from my hip until it reaches the end of my floral green dress and slips underneath it. He then skims his hand up my thigh and begins tracing the outline of my underwear. I almost fall into him as the familiar flash of heat appears and my underwear grows damp. I generally only wear dresses when my momma makes me wear them for special occasions, but times like this make me glad she did. I sigh as I wrap an arm around his neck and shift slightly to grant him easier access.

However Peeta just grins at me broadly before abruptly removing his hand from underneath my dress. He presses a quick kiss to my lips and then turns to climb the rusty ladder. I sigh in frustration as I look up to see him swiftly climbing up.

"Come on slow poke! You're missing out on the great view of my ass!" Peeta declares.

I scowl, annoyed that he didn't take things further but then to emphasis his point he wiggles his ass as he climbs and I can't stop the chuckle that leaves from my lips. He can make me laugh so easily and my annoyance disappears as I begin climbing up after him, taking my time to enjoy the view of his ass in those tight fitting jeans.

Peeta waits for me at the top with a cheeky smile and I smile as I slide over next to him. I shudder slightly and wrap my arms around myself to try and warm myself up. The harvest festival always marks the start of the colder weather and the nights in particular are quite cool. Peeta notices and removes his denim jacket to place it round my shoulders. I accept it gratefully as I wrap it tightly around my body and snuggle in closer to Peeta.

"You'll get cold now," I say as Peeta is left in just a worn white t-shirt.

"Good thing I've got you to keep me warm," he says, squeezing me gently and placing a kiss on top of my head.

I respond by squeezing him tighter and rubbing my hand up and down his bare arm to try and keep him warm. We are silent as we look out at the thousands of stars that light up the inky night.

"This is still the best place to see the stars," I sigh.

Peeta smiles and nods.

"They're one of my favourite things to look at. I like the thought that there is somebody on the other side of the world looking at the exact same stars. It kinda links everyone together. Languages and traditions may be different but everyone sees the same stars," he replies.

I twist my head up to look at him. I don't know anyone else who can speak so eloquently about things. It's one of the things I love about him.

"You always make everything sound so beautiful. You could write a killer college admission essay," I say.

Peeta sighs and loosens his arm around me. He pulls back as he shakes his head.

"We've been over this, Katniss. What is college gonna teach me? Rye and Bran don't want the bakery so it's mine. I already know how to bake and I can learn everything about running the business from Dad," he says.

This is a rising tension between us. Now that we are in our senior year we're asked to think about our futures. Not many people in Panem go to college, most end up on the farms, but I am desperate to go and get out of this small town so I can begin exploring the world.

Biology is what interests me most and I'd love to get into research. College is my opportunity to study something I am passionate about. I'm in the process of applying for college now and the ones out of state excite me the most. But that would mean leaving Peeta.

Peeta is clever enough to get into college and I would love for him to come and experience it all with me. But that seems to be out of the question. He has no desire to leave and I sometimes wish he had more ambition. If he wants to be a baker that's fine, but he can still go to pastry school and learn something other than what his daddy taught him.

I don't want to get in another argument about it though so stay quiet. Peeta realises that I'm not going to push him more on it today and gives me a small smile as he reaches out for me again.

"How are your applications going? Have you finished your essays yet?" he asks.

I nod my head as I turn to look at him.

"I think so. Just a few more edits. Miss Carson thinks they may be enough to even get into NYU," I say proudly.

New York is my top choice. The course is well respected and the idea of living in a city where things change every day thrills me. The idea doesn't thrill Peeta as much though.

"New York is a long way away," he says with a sad smile.

My heart clenches at the look he gives me. The only thing that stops me leaving Panem is Peeta. The thought of leaving him terrifies me. I don't know how I would cope without seeing him every day.

"I've not gotten in yet," I say.

Peeta smiles at me sadly again. I pause as I push the scary thoughts of a life without Peeta out of my head.

"I can't imagine my life without you," I say quietly.

Peeta smiles at me fondly now and pulls me in close to him.

"Me neither," he states and I can see just how much he cares for me in his brilliant blue eyes.

I let his words warm my heart as he clears his throat and dips his hand into his jeans pocket.

"I got you something," he says as he pulls something out.

It is partially obscured at first but as he brings it round and presents it to me there is no mistaking his gift for me. He opens the lid of the little black box to reveal his grandmother's engagement ring.

My heart stops at the sight of it and I look up at him in disbelief. It is a simple ring, just a small round cut diamond set on a gold band but it's been in his family for generations. His family talk about me owning that ring one day but I didn't expect it so soon.

Peeta takes a deep breath as he prepares his words for me. He gives me a nervous smile before opening his mouth to speak.

"I know we're young but I love you. And I just want to spend every possible moment of the rest of my life with you," he says. "Katniss, will you marry me?"

I'm in too much shock to process what he's said. We've been together since we were fourteen and always known that our families expected us to get married. There are lots of jokes about wedding dance songs and children's names and even though they annoy me, in my heart I know Peeta is the person I will marry. But he's right. We're only seventeen. It's too soon.

I look down at the ring as I try to wrap my head around it all. But as I look down at the ring I see my whole life flash in my front of me if I say yes. I won't go to college out of state. I'll stay here and be Peeta's wife. We'll have children and I will probably end up working at my parents' pharmacy while Peeta runs the bakery. I won't travel and see the world. I'll never experience anything other than Panem and all its mundane lifestyle.

I don't want that. How can I say yes when it feels like I would be sentencing myself to a lifetime imprisonment?

I close my eyes and shake my head before lifting my head to look directly at Peeta again. When I do my heart melts. His blue eyes look at me with a mixture of nervousness and hope. He chews his bottom and his hand slightly shakes as he waits patiently for my answer. My heart swells with love at the sight of him. And just like that my thoughts begin to change.

He's my best friend. My day doesn't start until I see him and the worse part of it is leaving him. I'm not even sure who I am without him. I love him more than anyone else on this earth. His happiness is the most important thing to me. How can I say no?

I take a moment to gather all my thoughts before I reach out to take the ring out of Peeta's hand. I bring it up to take a closer look at it as I twirl it round in my hand. Peeta sits holding his breath as he waits for me but slowly I let a smile spread across my face as I imagine his reaction when I give him my answer. I stop twirling the ring and bring my eyes to look at him. My smile reaches right across my face.

"Yes," I reply.

Peeta's face instantly breaks into a massive grin and he flings his arms around me. I quash my fears about saying yes as I laugh while he pushes me back against the water tower. He wraps his arms around me tightly as he mumbles words of love into my hair.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," he repeats like a mantra.

I smile as he pulls back and tuck a strand of hair behind his ear.

"You're stuck with me now. Me and my bad cooking," I say.

I try to make a joke out of it to hide my nervousness over actually being his wife. Peeta shakes his head fiercely and cups my head in his hands.

"I love every part of you. Even the part that sets fire to toast," he says with a smile.

I smile up at him and Peeta reaches down to take the ring off me.

"May I?" he asks excitedly holding the ring out.

I nod my head and stick out my left hand for him. His excitement and joy is infectious and I begin to feel giddy with happiness instead of scared of the future. He carefully places the ring on my finger and we both spend a moment inspecting it. I thought it might seem strange seeing the ring on but it feels so right. Like it was always supposed to end up there. I look back up at Peeta and he smiles at me.

"I love you," I say.

Peeta doesn't reply but instead leans forward to press a kiss to my lips. I open my mouth readily for him as I tangle my fingers in his blond curls. My heart does somersaults as Peeta pushes me back against the water tower and keeps a tight grip on my waist. Every nerve end is alive as we kiss for what seems like hours.

However the water tower is not the safest place to make out and as Peeta leans back he wobbles slightly causing him to stop and regain his balance.

"Whoa!" he says as he grips the edge of the ledge we are sitting on. "I suppose we should take this to ground level."

I laugh as I lean back to look at him. His cheeks are flushed and his curls stick out at all angles after my assault and I think this may be my favourite look on him. I like seeing the effect I have on him. I lean over to place a soft kiss on his lips as one of my hands runs up his thigh.

"I've heard engaged sex is the best," I say.

Peeta inhales sharply as my hand creeps up higher and gently cups him through his jeans. I can already begin to feel him swell within his boxer shorts.

"There's only one way to find out," he almost growls as he takes my head possessively in his hands.

He kisses me deeply as he pulls me to him and my hands grip onto his elbows to steady myself. After a moment he releases me, leaving me breathless.

"I don't think I can get you down this ladder quick enough," I pant.

Peeta grins as he strokes a piece of hair off my face before I turn to climb down. However just as I do, Peeta reaches out an arm to stop me.

"Wait! We should mark this moment. A permanent reminder of what happened today," Peeta declares.

I roll my eyes as I turn back round to face him.

"You don't want to curve our names into the metal do you? This is not some romance movie from the 50s," I say.

"That's exactly what I'm suggesting," Peeta says with a smile.

He reaches into his pocket to pull out his penknife. I shake my head at him.

"Peeta…that's so corny!" I exclaim.

Peeta just grins again as he takes hold of my hand.

"I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life. And I like the idea that in fifty years' time, another boy and girl come up here, see our initials and wonder if we loved each other as much as they do," Peeta says.

"You keep on doing it. Making something corny into something sweet," I sigh.

"So you'll allow it?" he asks.

I nod my head.

"I'll allow it," I say with a small smile.

Peeta smiles triumphantly and begins scratching a love heart into the metal bowl of the water tower. He carves in his PM before handing me the knife so I can carve in my KE. I hand the knife back to him once I'm finished and we both sit staring at it for a moment. The sight of it makes me happier than I thought it would.

I turn to kiss him again and it doesn't take long for things to get heated. My hands curve round his back to press him as close as possible and Peeta begins to squirm uncomfortably in his jeans.

"We really should get on solid ground," he pants as his hands come up to skim over my breasts. I groan as I nod my head. Peeta reluctantly pulls away from me and turns to climb down the ladder. I follow straight after and my legs can't get me down quick enough as I become impatient to feel Peeta pressed against me again.

Peeta misses the last few rungs and jumps down impatiently. He then turns and reaches up to place his arms around my waist. I twist round and Peeta lifts me off, spinning me around before crashing into the hood of his truck. I have no time to register what is happening before his lips are on me. Peeta presses me into the truck and takes my head in a tight grip. My hands go round his back as I spread my legs so he can step in between them. His hands hastily leave my head, one stopping to knead my breast over the fabric of my dress while the other reaches down to reach underneath my skirt. It makes a quick journey up my leg and swiftly reaches its destination. He presses a firm thumb over my clit making me cry out into the silent night.

"You definitely should wear dresses more often. Easier to access," he says as he begins planting kisses on my neck while rubbing circles over my underwear.

I lean my head back and grip onto this head as the waves of pleasure being coursing through my body.

"They're not practical in an everyday sense," I breathe.

Peeta chuckles lightly and places a soft kiss just behind my ear. He stops his ministrations underneath my dress and I groan and squirm in protest. Peeta smirks at me as his hand hovers over my underwear but does not resume its earlier activities.

"You're so impatient," he says placing another soft kiss on my cheek.

His tenderness is driving me crazy. I buck my hips towards him, desperate to feel that friction again but Peeta doesn't seem to want to play along. A hand snakes its way up the side of neck and holds me in place.

"Our first time as an engaged couple is not going to be up against the front of my truck," he states. "Though I'm willing to look in to that again afterwards."

His grip on me tightens and there is a glint in his eye as he says this. The look does nothing to stop the wetness drenching my underwear.

"I need you now," I whine.

Peeta chuckles lightly as he shakes his head. He bends down to place a kiss on my lips but it is briefer than I would like and he doesn't respond when I try to deepen it.

"There's some blankets in the back of the truck. You lay them out while I get the condoms from the glove compartment," Peeta replies.

I nod my head lamely as Peeta gives me one more quick kiss before dashing round to open the door of his truck. I spend a moment straightening out my clothes and then go round to the back to find the blankets. There are two blankets neatly rolled up, one blue and one grey and I unroll them to spread them out on the back of the truck. As I am straightening the edge of the blue one I feel strong hands wrap around me, twisting me round before Peeta bends down to kiss me deeply.

"I got the condoms," Peeta says against my lips.

I smile as he holds up the foil packet and I reach out to take it out of his hands. After several heated occasions in the truck we learned to always have some protection handy.

"I believe you need to get me naked before we can use this," I say with a suggestive smirk.

Peeta grins back at me and pulls me into his lap.

"I think that can be arranged," he says.

I smile down at him as his hands push his denim jacket off my shoulders. I watch him as he carefully begins to undress me. He bunches the end of my dress up in his hands and I raise my arms so he can peel the dress over my head. He throws the dress into the corner and spends a moment tracing the curves of my body with his hands. Soon his hands work their way round my back and unclip the clasp of my bra. I let the garment fall down my arms and Peeta spends a moment appraising my naked form. He always has a look of wonderment every time he sees me bare to him. His thumb rubs soothing patterns against my skin as he takes me in and goose bumps rise up on my arms. I sigh as his touch leaves my whole body tingling. I then lean forward and stroke the hair back off his face.

"Your turn," I say as I reach down for the hem of his t-shirt.

Peeta smiles at me and it doesn't take long for him to join me in my naked state. I rise slightly to allow him to remove my underwear and then we are both completely bare to the elements. I settle back into Peeta lap, straddling his hips as I reach down to grasp him in my hand. He hisses as my thumb sweeps up his length and twists round his head. He reaches out to caress the side of my face and the look in his eyes makes me stop. Whatever he has to say next is important.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you," he whispers.

I shake my head fiercely as I press my forehead against his.

"No. You got it wrong. I'm the one who has done nothing to deserve you," I reply passionately.

Peeta is so good. He is always so happy and positive where I can be sullen and grumpy. He is the kindest hearted person I know and he never judges anyone. I know that I could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him.

"It doesn't matter," he says. "I think that you deserve me and that is all that counts."

I bend down to kiss him and he wraps his arms around me. All my reservations about saying yes and staying in Panem are forgotten for the moment. I love him and wouldn't want to be anywhere else in this moment.

Peeta's hands start to wander, dancing across my skin and desperate to touch every part of me. My hand trails down his chest until it reaches the coarse hairs at his base. I grip his cock tightly in my hand and run my thumb up and down its length. Peeta lets out a strangled moan and drops his head to my shoulder.

"I love you," he pants as I continue to stroke him.

I smile as I stroke a curl off his face.

"I've got your dick in my hand. It doesn't count," I say.

Peeta shakes his head as he picks his head off my shoulder and looks at me seriously.

"It counts every time I tell you," he says seriously.

I smile back at him and kiss him before reaching for the condom packet and Peeta watches as I roll it on him. I take him in my hand again and guide him to my entrance. I rise slightly to create a better angle and slowly sink down onto him. We both groan as I ease down onto him until he is buried deep inside of me. We have only been doing this for eight months and it still amazes how good it feels to have him inside of me. I didn't realise you could feel so connected to another person in this way.

I take a moment to get used to him again before I rise again and slowly start undulating my hips. Peeta grips tightly onto my waist as I hold onto his shoulders for leverage. He lets my set the pace and the course hairs brush against my clit in just the right way. Peeta's thumbs rub patterns against my skin causing my nerves to tingle and intensifying every movement inside of me.

Normally Peeta likes to watch where we are joined when I am in the position. He loves to see himself disappear into me again and again but today his blue eyes are firmly fixed on my face. They lock onto my eyes and I can't look anywhere else. I see every single emotion that crosses his face; joy, pleasure, love. It's intense and causes my heart to swell until it feels like it is bursting. I feel it all building deep inside of me until it all becomes overwhelming. I suddenly burst, my orgasm crashing over me like a tsunami and sending aftershocks long after it is over.

Peeta follows moments after and collapses against the back of the truck, pulling me down with him. I lay my head against his chest as we both allow our breathing to get back to normal and Peeta's hand finds its way into my hair as he gently starts messaging my scalp.

"They were right. Engaged sex is the best. Just imagine what it will be like when we are married!" he exclaims.

I laugh lightly but the word married sticks in my head. My brief interlude away from doubt ends. I'm reminded exactly what being married to Peeta means. It means staying in Panem and never seeing the world. I've wanted to explore the world for so long I don't know how to feel now that seems an impossibility.

But then I glance up at Peeta and he looks down at me with so much love I can't imagine what it would be like if I said no.

I love him. Surely that is all you need to make a marriage work. As long as we both love each other everything else will be alright. I have to believe that. Because a life without Peeta is too scary to think about.


End file.
